Something Beautiful

Although darkness has fallen, the city outside is far from sleep. Even as I write this, campaign trucks wind through the streets; loudspeakers pronounce views on the upcoming Referendum here in Kenya. I am in Nairobi for my mid-term rest/resupply period before returning to Sudan. I’ve enjoyed having time to reflect on God’s goodness through the past weeks at Doro, as well as prepare for the next four months.

Caring for critically ill patients at Doro has shown me the beauty of God’s sovereignty. The arduous recovery periods and outcomes have taught me to trust in His healing. And being a nurse has given me the privilege of sharing Jesus’ love with some extraordinary people. When I consider the journeys of Una, Stephen, and Kaywaye, I see beauty.

Una didn’t start out with a beautiful story. She presented to the clinic with a hand rotting from infection. A family member had bitten her after a drunken dispute, and three days after the incident, Una was very sick. It was determined that the affected finger would need to be amputated, but the doctor only had a few hours before his plane was scheduled to arrive! Despite time constraints, the lifesaving surgery was successfully performed, and Una faced a long recovery period. Una lived at the clinic for a week as she received IV antibiotics and dressing changes. During her convalescence, she listened to the Bible study, the worship songs, the prayers shared every morning in the clinic. She was eventually strong enough to go home and return to the clinic for periodic wound care. On one such day, I was cleaning the place where her finger had been, and we discussed her story. She told me how she went to church as a young girl, but didn’t understand Jesus’ love for her. She eventually married a man who loved alcohol. Through family struggles, substance abuse, and divorce, she had long forgotten God. After she was bitten by the family member and the infection spread, she felt a hopeless darkness closing in on her, as if death was imminent. However, as she awaited surgery, her mind cleared and she realized God’s love for her in providing a doctor to save her life. With eyes radiating light and joy, Una praised God for using a bite on the hand to bring her to Him. She says that the days of hearing the God’s Word encouraged her, and now she wants to live for Jesus.

Stephen lay listless in his mother’s arms; his eyes were swollen closed with infection and he had a terrible fever. Screaming with pain whenever he was moved, Stephen was found to have meningitis, (an infection in his brain), and an advanced eye infection. The baby, malnourished from months of illness, seemed too weak to recover. His eyes appeared cloudy and I didn’t know if he could see. However, God answered prayer, and the child recovered and went to the Nutrition Village to gain strength. A month later, I checked on Stephen on the eve of his planned discharge from the Village. His eyes were still closed, but he otherwise appeared healthy and was gaining weight. Just then, the baby’s father came to the Village and wanted to take his family home immediately. He explained how he had arranged a cleansing ceremony for the mother with a witch doctor. I shared the gospel with Stephen’s father; explained how healing comes through the power of God. The father’s defensiveness disappeared after hearing about Jesus. He thanked us for helping his family, but said that this was something he must do. Another nurse and I prayed for him, and he left with the family. The father allowed his family to return for check-ups, and although I never saw the father again, Stephen continued to improve. The last time I saw him, the baby’s bright eyes were assessing the faces that smiled at him.

Kaywaye’s story is the most challenging; the most beautiful. The four-year-old boy was brought to the clinic by his road-weary parents. Weeks before, a stranger had given the family a large sum of money to bring their sick son to a hospital. The thankful parents had traveled far from their home in Nuer territory seeking healthcare. The child’s abdominal tumor was advanced, and each clinic referred Kaywaye to another facility. I was on-call when Kaywaye’s family arrived. That Saturday, there were two listless children with IVs at the clinic and pneumonia spreading at the Village. However, all distractions melted into the background as I assessed Kaywaye; I felt a deep sadness at how the tumor dominated his abdomen, stealing nutrients and sapping the tiny boy’s strength. The father’s eyes were lined with exhaustion but still watched with hope. There was nothing a team of nurses could do for the boy, so we phoned our doctor and developed a plan. A flight to a surgical hospital was arranged for the family. Over the next few days, the boy’s strength waxed and waned, and we prayed for God’s will to be done as we fought to keep Kaywaye alive. Just days before the scheduled flight, the boy went home to Jesus. The community health workers and a few nurses provided a funeral service, and he was buried in Mabaan soil. After the ceremony, I served chai to Kaywaye’s parents, and a group of us sat together in the shade of the new clinic to escape the burning sun. I would have understood if the parents were angry or disillusioned. After all, they had been traveling for weeks after receiving a miraculous financial gift. And at the Doro clinic, a flight was scheduled so Kaywaye could get surgery. Surely God would heal their son! But their response surprised and deeply encouraged me. The father, eyes misty with tears, thanked us for caring for them. He told us how the other clinics didn’t seem to care, but the family experienced the love of Jesus at Doro. Furthermore, he explained how he trusts God, but being illiterate, he can’t study God’s Word for himself. Hearing the truth of the Bible at the clinic encouraged his walk with the Lord and deepened his faith. I was amazed how the father so quickly and implicitly trusted God’s providence. Like Job, he praised the Lord; “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord, (Job 1:21).”

I described the experiences as beautiful because of Jesus’ work in each situation. Una recognized the love of her Savior, Jesus opened Stephen’s eyes, and Kaywaye’s family demonstrated faith in His love. Beauty is found in trusting Jesus and developed by the testing of faith. The Apostle Paul explains that “we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope,” (Romans 5: 3-4). Although the experiences are difficult to comprehend from a mortal perspective, I can be confident that He is faithful to complete His good work. His love is infinite, and His plan is perfect! I won’t always get the privilege of seeing how He is weaving something beautiful, but the joy of experiencing prayers fulfilled through His people has been a special blessing.

I will be in Loki tomorrow, and finally back home in Doro on Monday. I’m looking forward to the months ahead, confident that God will complete His good work in Sudan. Please pray that I will keep Christ my purpose and delight so that He can love through me. Please pray for the peace of Sudan, and for the Mabaan people who have been displaced for so long and are now rebuilding their lives. Also pray for the local church and the missionaries; for wisdom and unity. Thank you also for remembering Una as she seeks to grow in Jesus; for Stephen’s father’s salvation; for Kaywaye’s family.

Thank you again for your prayers and support! “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ,” (1 Thess 5:23).

Illustration in the Sky

The brilliance of an unblemished sky captivated me that first night in Sudan. The stars were individual points of light, so numerous, they merged to form sparkling waves across the heavens. As if reuniting with an old friend, my eyes naturally sought out a pattern of seven stars in the Northern sky. Ursa Major, or more specifically, the Big Dipper had always been my favorite constellation. Why? It was the easiest to pick out, its a reference to other constellations, and I liked the notion of God placing a kitchen utensil in the sky. I was accustomed to viewing the Dipper from the States where it rested in a lateral position, as if some unseen Hand was holding it under a faucet to be filled. But viewed from equatorial Africa, the Dipper is straight up and down; its contents spilling into the infinite black ocean of night.

Appreciating an allegory, I found myself reciting something that Paul had written to Timothy; "I am already being poured out as a drink offering," (2 Tim 4:6). Feeling parched from the heat of the day, I began to think more deeply about the purpose of a dipper; how refreshing a cup of water would be right then. A scene from the film Ben-Hur flashed in my mind: the enslaved hero has been forced to march through the desert and is denied water by his captors. Weak and without hope, he collapses to the sand. But just when he wants to die, Someone dips into the well and offers him a drink of life-sustaining water. After satisfying his thirst, Ben-Hur gazes into the loving eyes of his Savior, and he is captivated. I considered how I had been filled in the States for so many years; filled with Bible stories from childhood, theology studies in college, filled by the godly counsel of many. Standing beneath the tilted Dipper, I eagerly asked God to pour out what He had infused in me on this Sudanese soil: the True Living Water.

My first two months at Doro passed too quickly. At first the pouring came easy; I had mornings to study Mabaan and afternoons to learn the clinic. I was purposeful about developing relationships; played with kids and drank chai with local ladies. But then I moved into my role at the clinic and settled into routine. And after a child with cancer died, I began to feel like my well was going dry. Long hours in the clinic, children passing into eternity from preventable conditions, inability to communicate in the local dialects, and the steep cultural learning curve all sapped my energy. I would come back from a day at the clinic in time to help with dinner, perform a few tasks, then turn in. Time's hourglass buried my plans in ceaseless sands; each day I was getting further behind in my outreach and language-learning goals. And still there were more children suffering from malnutrition, seizures, malaria; more tiny lives silenced in tireless sleep.

How could I continue being poured out? After all, sharing Jesus’ love is not a matter of location, it’s a unending lifestyle, a commandment, an honor that He has given. How then was I to be filled? I found renewal by “looking unto Jesus,” Hebrews 12:2.

Two stars on the front of the Big Dipper’s cup point up to Polaris, the North Star. Since the earth’s North Pole points to Polaris and the earth rotates around the poles, Polaris remains a constant point in the sky. The Big Dipper appears to rotate around the North Star, and it can serve as a 24-hour clock. The constancy of the North Pole captivated me. Whatever the position of the Big Dipper; whether being poured out or filled, at all times, it looks to the consistent star.

I am currently in Nairobi for an opportunity to rest and resupply. And although my ladle is in a more recumbent position, I see the Truth in the Creator’s heavenly illustration. It doesn’t matter where or when I am, if I perceive myself as being filled or poured out, my purpose is to point to Christ. He is the Source of Living Water, the Constant One.

After speaking about being poured out, Paul finishes his thought to Timothy in verses 7 and 8: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”